From My Desk: 3 Pastoral Lessons from an Old Conflict
Some years ago, I was one side of a church conflict over beliefs and application concerning a particularly contentious issue of the moment. This morning I shared that story at a gathering of some pastors and churchmen and gave some lessons that can be gleaned from the experience. Here they are:
Lesson #1 - Don’t Allow a Culture of Fear of Confronting a Particular Set of People to Germinate
Don’t allow a subset of your church’s people to be unfamiliar with a pastoral voice challenging any of their assumptions or assertions on a particular slice of human life. We don’t want a group of our sheep to have thinking, self-conception, or views about applied Christian ethics that are less shepherded, less admonished, less challenged than a Christian’s should be.
Lesson #2 - Pray Like Lives Depend On It
Prayer is where whether you really believe God is the protagonist of the story is revealed. He is. Live like it by praying your guts out.
Praying keeps your head cool and your heart hot. The anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God (James 1:20). Heartfelt prayer to Almighty God is ice cold water poured on sinful, fleshy anger. And that same genuine petition to God for the ones you’re in conflict with feeds affection and patience towards them. Real prayer kills bitterness and strengthens love.
Lesson #3 - Stay Laser-Focused, Then Don’t Back Down
Your people will need things they don’t want. That is an ever-present reality of pastoral work. So clearly, plainly apply the medicine they need, and don’t be distracted into side-debates that won’t truly help that soul in front of you. Sometimes you will be providing prophylactic care, meaning it is meant to prevent a problem. Other times you’ll be providing an antibiotic that is meant to treat a raging infection that’s already inflamed. But whether preventative or reactive, the Godly, Scriptural guidance a soul most needs is often what it least wants. In those most moments, you’re not loving the person in sin or error by allowing a conversation about lust to turn into one about past grievances with the church, or a conversation about unrepentant anger to be diverted into a discussion about political differences. Prayerfully and Biblically resolve what the soul in front of you needs and then keep your attention on that need.
You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus, and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also. Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him. An athlete is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules. It is the hard-working farmer who ought to have the first share of the crops. Think over what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything.
2 Timothy 2:1-7